My Daughter's Eyes

She's not my legal daughter. I have no real claim to her other than what the state has given me. But I don't think I could love her any more had I carried her for 9 months.  Many days, she drives me crazy.  Some days she seems to need holy water sprinkled on her, but every day she says something funny and I can't stop holding her and kissing her. 

Thumbelina calls me 'Mom' now, a change from the "Mommy" of the last year.  Since G-Force came, she's been imitating his baby talk and answering us with "uh! uh!" Then she'll launch into a regular conversation about her favorite topics: lawnmowers, planes and keeping her undies dry.  This girl is such a joy to us and her spunk and spirited ways are part of her charm and a challenge for us to channel and help her develop. 

There is a chance that we will be able to adopt her and her twin brother, but until things are set, I won't get my hopes up.  Losing them is something I can't wrap my mind around right now, so I won't.

Whenever I hear this song, I think of her and can't help but get watery eyes.  No matter what happens with the case, she'll always be our girl.

Lots

So much going on here, and I'm hoping to get a post up tonight or tomorrow. G-Force moved in on Saturday and started daycare on Monday.  The teachers love him as he is so happy and easygoing.  I felt bad that he had to be in daycare, but I trust the ladies there, and right now, while John is in school, I have to work.  The twins have been so good with the little guy, and Thumbelina is such a little mother to him.  She got him laughing very hard yesterday when she would sniff his hand and exclaim, "Pee-UUUUU!!!" Cherub has been trying to teach him the signs for 'more,' 'eat,' and 'please,' since G-Force doesn't use words yet.  So cute.

Thumbelina no longer calls me 'mommy.' I'm "Mom" now.  "Um, hey Mom? Um, I need my white flip flops." "Um, hey Mom? Look what I drew! It's a dinosaur foot." "Did you HEAR dat, Mom?! It's a airpwane!"

Cherub and I spent the morning together yesterday since he had to stay home from school.  It was really nice to have him with me and get to take him to my office when I picked up some work.  People who had not seen him for a long time were amazed at the changes in him.  We're really proud of the twins and what amazing and fun little people they have become...especially that they are nearly potty trained!

We're expecting

a fifteen month old boy!

The opportunity to possibly foster to adopt a little boy came to us when the twins’ caseworker told us about him one day when we were at a court hearing.  His foster care case is possibly coming to an end, and his foster family (wonderful people) have decided that due to their age and the fact that they have three young adopted children who need a lot of attention, they cannot adopt G.  John and I met G and his foster siblings and parents at a park midway between our homes.  At once I was struck by their love for their children and the great care they take of G.  John and G’s foster father are about the same height and both have good senses of humor.  The foster parents’ children (9, 8 and 4) were very nice and adored G as much as he adored them.  This is very bittersweet for his foster family, especially “R” his foster mother, who had tears in her eyes when they arrived at the park, and when we were leaving.  She did, however, feel really good about where G is going, and saw that G liked us and was very comfortable. John was playing with and holding G about 2/3 of the time, and they seemed like old friends. 

The funny part:  His birth name begins with “J” but his birth mom wants him to be called by his third name which begins with “G” but sounds like “J.”  G’s caseworkers name also starts with “J” and is the same name as the twins’ caseworker! So, 2 more J names in the mix.  This is what I get for hating name patterns! 

To prepare for our new arrival, we are required to have an amended foster license.  Currently, we are licensed for two children.  The home office has been moved to the family room, which is now the media/family room. John and his dad painted G’s room and John’s mom and sister brought dinner and bought material we picked out to make curtains!  

For the last two weeks, we’ve talked to the twins about Baby G coming to visit and then coming to stay with us.  Every night, they pray, “God bwess Baby G.” 

He is not legally free for adoption yet, but we will be considered his permanent home when he is, and we will find out how this will go at the end of October at a hearing.  As this is foster care, anything can and does happen. Your prayers are appreciated not only for us and G –Force, but for his foster parents and siblings who have raised him since he was 4 days old.  R & R, the foster parents, will have broken hearts for a good while. 

We have received so much help and support from our families, especially our parents and John’s sister Miriam who have watched the kids for us, brought dinner, painted, made curtains, and countless other things.  In our case, and I think in most families, it does take a (family) village.

Happy Mother's Day

To all mothers:
Biological mothers
Adoptive mothers
Foster Mothers
Future Mothers
Mothers who made a loving and sacrificial choice and placed their children with a forever family
Mothers whose children are in foster care
Mothers whose children have gone before them
Mothers of aborted children

God bless you and give you peace on Mother's Day!
May the Blessed Mother be your guide and comfort.

I'd like to smother HER with a pillow...

...or at least her horrid and disgusting ideas.  Virginia Ironside is a British journalist who recently said that if she had a deeply suffering child, she would want to put a pillow over its face. Are you kidding me? I'm suffering just listening to hear her say that.  Perhaps she'd like to put a pillow over my face?  Check out her version of what a loving mother is here on Hot Air. Abortion, apparently, is sometimes the loving thing to do.

You can't spell the word 'smother' without 'mother!'

On the feast of St. Faustina, let's counter the evil of Virginia Ironside's so called loving thing to do with this prayer from the saint:

O My God,
When I look into the future, I am frightened,
But why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power to change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of Your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater Glory.

— From her Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul, Notebook 1 (1)

Birth Stories

Over the last few months, I've read with interest several women's birth stories.  Many of them came from Design Mom, who had her 6th child in May.  Readers sent in their birth stories, and one was posted each day.  As someone who has never given birth, I read all of them with great interest, noting that each story was unique but so linked with the others because they all brought forth a baby one way or another.  Some involved epidurals; some were natural; one was about adoption; one was a water birth.  Some women were vocal, some were not. Some women lost their tempers, which I found extremely refreshing to hear.  I mean, like someone said on an episode of 'Friends." "Have you ever pushed a pot roast out your nostril??!!"

My brother-in-law posted on his family's blog my sister's opinion and experience on being vocal during her births.  She finds that it takes too much energy for her. They are expecting their third child and first son in July. :)  Other friends of mine have found it so helpful and energizing--they've called out instructions to those assisting her during labor, prayed out loud, called on the Lord during a painful contraction, etc. (Side note: when I heard one of my friends say that she called out, "Oh Goooooodddd!!!!" in a loud prayer, it made me think of Jesus on the cross calling out to His Father.) My other sister had two C-sections and endured painful recoveries.

I think all women who have given birth would agree that it really is to each her own. What works for one is fine for her, but another woman can be completely different.    Again, as someone who has not given birth, I see the need for realizing that one size does not fit all.  I find neither being vocal or being silent during a birth more heroic than the other. Getting an epidural when needed does not make a mother any less strong. 

Each story is beautiful, painful, sacrificial, monumental---it's a love story.

Happy Mother's Day!

To our mothers, and all mothers out there-present and future, I hope that you had a wonderful Mother's Day! The weather here was so beautiful both Saturday and Sunday. Unfortunately, I got hit with a bad cold and spent most of the weekend laid up. John took care of Little Man for me on Saturday and when the baby took a nap, I did, too.

On Sunday, John made me a cappuccino, and we went to 8:15am Mass. He also took the Little Man out of Mass when he started getting loud--for 40 minutes. It was nice to be able to stand with the mothers for the blessing given by Fr. Lappe. I got calls from my sisters and goddaughter, Lili, a Novena from Ellen, a Novena of Masses from my parents-in-law, Jim and Sue, and a lovely card and tulips from Jeff and Christina and their kids. The tulips will be planted around the statue of Our Lady in the backyard in honor of the Best Mom. Oh, I also got a card from Jill and Little Man written in orange crayon and some backwards letters. Will have to post that card--hilarious.

In the afternoon, we went to Jeff and Christina's house for a bbq. The guys provided the food and drinks, and the kids put on a really neat play for the moms.

Thank you Mom and Mom C. for being open to life. Thank you to my sisters and sisters-in-law for being open to children and wanting to be moms, whether they are right now or are pursuing motherhood. Happy Mother's Day in particular to Mary Dolan Mahler, Sue Dion Campbell, Kate Mahler Allemand, Mary Mahler O'Kray, Sayeda Ismail Mahler, Ellen Campbell Smith and Christina Sauer Campbell and to my close friends. Thanks for your example of mothering hearts.

I love you.

Happy Friday!

Another week with the bub has passed, #2. He had a happy visit with his mama last night and again was a trooper even though we didn't get home till 8pm last night. On the drive home, we sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" several times. He asks for it by touching the fingers of both hands together and saying, "Spi-ey?"

During the two hour visit, I started reading "Born to Run" which is hard to put down. Hope to get a lot more read over the next 2 days. Because of this book and learning more about barefoot running, on Saturday, we will go as a family to Seattle so that I can try on these shoes which I hope to start running in next week.