The Creative "No"

During one of my Literary Traditions classes (or Lit Trad as it was commonly known) at UD with Fr. Robert Maguire, we read Madame Bovary. To those who have not read this book, I highly recommend it. It tells the sad tale of a woman who is so out of touch with the blessings that she has in her life that she sacrifices her marriage, baby girl, and life for romantic dreams and affairs that lead to her demise. As a young college student, this book deeply touched me, especially because Fr. Maguire gave a great lecture on women, especially mothers, and the creative “No.”

Many times, women will take on too much, thinking that they have to get everything done, be involved in so many activities with their children, and/or answer yes to every request that comes to them. Father said that by saying yes to everything, women can end up being so drained that they further feel like they’re not doing any one thing well. By saying “No” to some things, this frees her to focus on and concentrate on what takes priority in her life—marriage and her family. Because I do not have children, I have not had to say no to much except when we had things planned or when it interfered with my job which for our family takes priority right now.

Now that we have a little boy living with us and forms part of our family, albeit it temporary, I have had the chance to back out of things that normally I would say yes to in a minute. The twice weekly trips to Tacoma from Poulsbo for the little one take up a lot of time and energy for both him and me. Trying to keep the house clean, get dinner on the table, keep myself organized at work and at home has kept me on my toes. Most of my friends and sisters have been doing this for years. I’m just new to the game, so it has been a challenge.

My point is, though, that the Creative ‘No’ is necessary in every woman’s life. If we try to take on everything without replenishing ourselves with rest, prayer, spending time with children and especially our spouses, then we are running on empty and doing much less than a stellar job.

I think I’ll try to find those class notes from Fr. Maguire’s lecture. Maybe I’ll read Madame Bovary again, too. Life, in its seemingly mundane routine, is quite beautiful. Madame Bovary would have been a happy woman had she realized this.