Tonight, I'm sitting at the kitchen table on John's mac and enjoying a glass of red wine while thinking about the events of the day. John has just left with a gradeschool/highschool friend to see "Thor." Um, no thank you. :)
We got the kids up 15 minutes early so that they could have breakfast before we got ready for their all day visit with their father. Their daycare was closed today for a training session, so I asked both the caseworker and their father that if at all possible, could the visit be today since I had to be at work and child care was closed. Both agreed.
Wouldn't you know it that 30 minutes before I drove 40 minutes to take the bubs to the ferry, I picked up my phone. On it was a text from bio-dad from 4:25 am saying that his boss had a medical emergency and he was at the ER with him. "We may have to change plans." I admit that I saw red.
He canceled last Friday because it was raining and he had planned all outdoor things. (The children may not go to his place until the caseworker approves it.) So, he asked if Saturday would work. Yes, that would be great. I could go to work to make up some time and get the house cleaned for the Mother's Day brunch we were hosting. Wouldn't you know that he called 20 minutes before the kids and I left for the ferry that his public transit card was empty because DSHS hadn't reloaded it. This being the case, it cut too much into his visit budget to have the kids that day.
So, I should not have been surprised that a boss (whose health problems are bad) takes precedence over this birth father's own children. Thank God for my mom (Mimi to her grand kids) and staying with them so that I could get to work. The dad said he didn't remember my email saying that today the kids' daycare was closed because he had a 'busy week.' Join the club, dude.
John and I were talking about the children's parents tonight. They love their children, but not like a parent should. It reminded us of that scene in "Sense and Sensibility" where Eleanor is comforting Marianne when Willoughby leaves her for a woman of fortune. She tells her, "Whatever his past actions, whatever his present course... at least you may be certain that he loved you." Marianne replies, "But not enough. Not enough."
4 comments:
This is heartbreaking to read. Thank you though for sharing. Parenting is difficult...filled with ups and downs. I applaud you for voluntarily taking up the task. The bubs will be all the richer for having you and John be part of their lives.
It really does break my heart to read this. How incredible and wonderful what you're doing for these kids! You are so strong and courageous. I'm in awe of you.
Dwija, so nice of you to comment! Don't be in awe, unless I can be in awe of you buying your house and moving to rural MI. :) I bought a necklace from you a few years ago that I love!
amazing that bio D cannot afford to purchase his own transportation to see his bio children. Amazing too that planned activities of outdoors is a reason to cancel a visit due to inclement weather.
I pray you are keeping a diary of these things -
During the ups and downs of fostering, it came down to what the parent wanted and what the parent actually did to regain custody of the children ... wants do not always equal action.
Praying for you all ...
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